1. 果农发现一小孩在偷苹果：小捣蛋，你等着，我要去告诉你爸爸！男孩抬头向树上喊道：爸，下面　　有人找你
2. 教授：一个傻瓜提的问题，10个聪明人也回答不了。”大学生：“难怪我考试总也不及格。”
3. 熊猫深爱著小鹿，表达爱意时却遭到拒绝。
　　熊猫大吼～为什麼？这一切都是为什麼？
　　小鹿胆怯地说：我妈说了，戴墨镜的都是不良少年
4. 一大学生被敌人抓了，敌人把他绑在了电线杆上，然后问他：说，你是哪里的？不说就电死你！大　　学生回了敌人一句话，结果被电死了，他说：我是电大的！
5. 某条街上有个乞丐，每天都在那里乞讨生活。
　　一日某人忽然发现乞丐身边多了一个碗可又没人？
　　好奇。便上前去问：“为什么你放两个碗”。
　　那乞丐笑了笑道：“丫不知怎么滴最近生意特好。所以开了家分公司。”
6. 水说:“让我日夜拥抱着你,一刻都不离开你!“
　　鱼说:“让我躺在你温柔的怀里,享受你的呵护!“
　　锅说:“丫都快煮熟了,还这么嘴贫!“
7. 江湖上知道你武功高强，但你不能骄傲，做到人中有剑，剑中有人，人剑合一，做到了这一点，你　　就不再是人，是剑人！

This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep
trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot.
But you can’t!!!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number “6” in the air with your
right hand. Your foot will change direction!!!

I told you so.. And there is nothing you can do about it!!

A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neighbor owes me $500 and he
doesn’t want to pay up. What should I do?”

“Do you have any proof?” asked the lawyer.

“Nope,” replied the man.

“Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you,”
said the lawyer.

“But it’s only $500,” replied the man.

“Precisely. That’s what he will reply and we will have him!

When Charles deGaulle decided to retire from public life, the British
ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor.

At the dinner table the Ambassador’s wife was talking with Madame
deGaulle.

“Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence
on the French and International scene for so many years! How quiet
retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward
to
in these retirement years?”

“A penis,” replied Madame deGaulle.

A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer… and no
one knew what to say next.

Le Grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said, “Ma cherie, I
believe ze English pronounce zat word, ‘appiness!’

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was
1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel.

“I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing
the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents.

“The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent
the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I
continued this system for a month, by the end of which I’d accumulated
a
fortune of $1.37.

“Then my wife’s father died and left us two million dollars.”